I saw La La Land twice, and the emotional impact was still the same. My boyfriend enjoyed it too like I knew he would. I’m constantly humming the songs. I had a nice and long winter break, and I’m ready to start the New Year! Last Christmas in 2015, I wasn’t in my typical spirited mood, and I attribute it to my antipathy for my first job. It is really a difference to my happiness after leaving that job. So whenever I give advice, I always note the importance of enjoying your job and the people, take the chance to constantly be looking for opportunities, and leave a job if it truly makes you unhappy. Now I create my own hours, I’m part of a team, and get to work on my own goals too!
I don’t know what to expect for 2017, but I hope there’s more excitement and positive changes! I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions because I work on being a better person everyday as everyone should. I make tiny goals that leads to long term goals throughout the year and my life. A new thing that I’m interested in is Minimalism, and hopefully I can learn more about it, and practice it. I’ve never been one with buying in excess, coveting material items, I like to make use of the things I have, and enjoy the things and experience that I truly value. The sheer simplicity of it attracted me to minimalism.
Anyway, I’m mentally preparing for the second semester, and I’m hoping for better grades, more meaningful conversations, and connecting with people. I realize I don’t have many close friends. I have always had the mindset that being strong is being independent and relying on oneself. Which is wrong because we need the social interaction and support of friendships. Partly my parents and family never wanted my myself and my siblings to idolize or spend time with our friends, and they always told me friends are temporary and not to be trusted. As I got older, I spent more time with my boyfriend, and I’m missing friends. My siblings are thriving with their friends, and embarrassingly, I have to find friends. I thought I had good friends, but I always felt like I never fit in. I have “floater” friends that come and go in my life, and only make a momentarily meaningful impact before we drift. Possibly, I’m the “floater” in their life, and we become a novelty hidden in our social media.
I felt like I was always the one saying “I’m always free, let’s hang out, or do you want to do this with me? You can always talk to me” but it seems like I had to reach out to them, and no one really saw me that way. It was always open ended. So I kind of gave up, but maybe I closed myself off? Maybe I’m intimidating? Of course, everyone’s busy these days as we get older. I meet great people, but it’s just maintaining contact and communication is the part I get lost in translation with. This is not a woe is me, but a reflection of something that is hard for me to admit.
On a brighter note, to sum up my the events in the latter half of the year: bar hopping and visited some breweries with new and old college friends (this is where I realized I’m missing my group of social support), went to my work Xmas party with my friend since high school, saw La La Land with another old high school friend, spent Christmas with family, and New Years in downtown and watched La La Land again with my boyfriend.
Cheers to a new year, and being kind to everyone!
Next post: Books I’m reading and updates on school, work, and siblings