Am I Getting Married?

cake topper, married, we do, i do, husband, wife, bride, groom

Did you know today was the most popular date to have a wedding in 2016? According to an unofficial Google search.

MY DREAM WEDDING AT 13

When I was younger I would save pictures for wedding inspirations. I wanted a big, flashy, summer wedding with a Cinderella princess dress, a diamond  ring, and our song would be “Flightless Bird American Mouth” by Iron and Wine or “1000 Years” by Christina Perri. Very cliche.

MY DREAM WEDDING TODAY

If I had a wedding now, it would be small, simple, and closer to fall weather. I would wear a flowy dress, preferably an environmentally friendly, colored ring, and song choices are: “Engagement Party” from La La Land, “Cold Cold Man” by Saint Motel, and “Pop Culture” by Madeon. I would like to incorporate a traditional Vietnamese wedding ceremony too!

wedding

RELATIONSHIP STATUS

This is my 6th year with my BF, and I always think about what’s next for us. Some of my relatives have asked about marriage now that I’m older, and I always tell them “no.” There are no concrete plans of when we’re getting marry. I don’t think I’m ready to make that commitment, and I don’t think he is either. My BF and I definitely talked about this, but it’s more along the lines of lighthearted conversations.

Many people I know have gotten engaged recently, and more this past year. My relatives who are around the same age as me are already married and having kids. It is only a matter of time before someone else makes a huge announcement. But that won’t be coming from me.

When I was younger, I wanted to be a young bride and to be married at 23 so that I could be a young and pretty mom at 25. I’m 24 now, and I would jump over a cliff before I decide to get married and have kids. I still have things I want to do and focus on, but I’m happy for others when they decide to get married and have kids. The only time I cringe is when people have kids when they’re so young because this is the time to be a little selfish, explore, travel, and to do new and exciting things without the burden of caring for someone else.

cliff diving, water, ocean, travel, diving, cliff
I will jump over this cliff
  • Do I think I need to marry to prove anything? No. My views on marriage have also changed because I don’t think being married is necessary. I would be fine if I didn’t get married, but My parents won’t approve of that idea.
  • Would I like to get married? Yes, someday, but seriously not in any hurry.
  • Do I want kids? Yes, but very, very far into the future.

WILL YOU MARRY ME? ask me again in a few years.

I feel that being married requires maturity, stability, and security that I can’t offer yet, nor can my BF. Marriage comes with many responsibilities that I don’t want to think about: finances, spending, moving and living situation, expenses, household contributions, cooperation, and sacrifices. Marriage also entrusts the significant other as a selfless and committed partner for life.

Yes, I’m in a committed relationship and we share and do many things together, but marriage puts the pressure of what it truly means to be committed, supportive, and responsible for the obligations we can’t brush aside. We haven’t really discuss any of this, and who and what each of us will be responsible for in a marriage.

I need to work on myself, my education, and my career before I put a ring on it. I’m still learning #adulting, and I don’t know if #wifey is something I can even handle yet. Heh.

—Next post: Will definitely post on why summers are the worst.
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